BELIEVING THE BEST OF OTHERS IN A VICTIMIZED WORLD

By Andrea Guachalla

We live in a confusing time, don’t we? We live in an age where kindness, and love, goodness, and mercy are understood according to what is convenient, and not according to what the Bible says about them. Whereas God’s Word tells us the standard of obedience and goodness is Christ, His own Son, the world tells us there is no standard, each has the right to do as they please and as it better feels, even if that means we’ll seek to be served rather than seek to serve others. Consequently, the “love” the world has to offer is nothing like the sacrificial love our Father graciously gives.

In 1 Corinthians 13:7, we read: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The commentaries of the ESV Study Bible say about this passage: “The terms believes and hopes are sandwiched between bears and endures and, like them, probably refer to relationships between people rather than to faith and hope in God. Love believes the best of others and hopes the best of them.”

But, how are we supposed to believe and hope for the best of others when all we hear around us is that it is Ok to assume the worst of others and feel like a victim? Through the education we receive in schools, universities, and what we see on the mainstream media, and entertainment, we are continually bombarded (I want to say indoctrinated) by the idea that we are victims, and we are entitled to resentment and vengeance. 

If you are a (feminist) woman, you are a victim of the patriarchy, therefore you are allowed to hate any men and anyone who opposes your stands on abortion as a way of “liberating” women. If you identify as homosexual or transgender, you are supposedly a victim of those who are heterosexual, therefore you can be resentful against them and their idea of what a nuclear family is. If you are a native or mixed-race person, you are a victim of the colonization that took place hundreds of years ago, therefore you can still resent those who descend from the colonizers. And the list goes on without end… That’s what we are taught. That’s what we do. Living in this victimized world means we are right to feel like victims, and we are entitled to seek worldly justice: vengeance, and (the so-called) “equality.” 

No surprise that these ideologies being so widespread and of course the sin within us (I mean in both Christians and non-Christians) contributes to our wrong understanding of what true love is, and what our reaction as Christians should be when we feel or think we are being wronged by someone. The fact that the godless culture in which we live has such a tendency to assume the worst of others, and feel subjectively wounded (subjectively I mean when the victimization is unfounded) pollutes our daily lives and causes us to justify the sins we commit that come as a result of feeling a victim.

If you are a woman who has spent the whole day cleaning the house only to note that nobody even takes the time to say “thank you”, you might tend to assume simply that they don’t appreciate what you do, therefore you allow yourself to clean while grumbling next time. If you have been calling a friend and she hasn’t returned any of your calls, you might assume she just doesn’t care about you, therefore you are allowed to stop trying to contact her and caring for her. If you are new at a church/school/class and you note nobody has approached you to get to know you, you would probably assume that that is because they don’t like you, therefore you are allowed to keep your distance and perhaps be indifferent towards them. There are countless examples! 

Something to realize here, and I pray that you will be convicted by this, is that when we assume the worst of others we turn into the villain of the movie ourselves, we turn into monsters. If we feel hated, we hate those who hate us. If we don’t feel appreciated by others, we don’t appreciate them either. If we feel others are indifferent towards us, we turn indifferent ourselves. Though the Bible says we ought to love even our enemies, our tendency is to do wrong to those who wrong us. Falling for wrong assumptions makes it worse and it never has a good outcome, it doesn’t honor God, it doesn’t serve us, and it doesn’t serve others.

Now, of course, some negative assumptions you sometimes have could be true. Perhaps your family truly does not appreciate that you take care of your house with such heed, perhaps your friend is actually mad at you and that’s why she hasn’t returned your calls, and perhaps there is a reason for people not approaching you at that place where you are new. BUT. Even if that’s the case, YOU DON’T KNOW FOR SURE. And the Lord does not call you to go around taking guesses, He calls us to believe the best of others, not the worst. He calls us to hope for the best of others, even if that hope is met with disappointment. And the amazing thing is that this is not only for the good of others but also for our own good. Undoubtedly.

If you care for your home assuming others appreciate it, you will surely do it joyfully! If you keep calling your friend assuming that perhaps she hasn’t had time to call you back, you will do it lovingly! If you assume that the reason nobody has approached you to get to know you better is that they want to, but perhaps they are shy, you will not wait until they do, you will approach them yourself and try to connect with them!

How sweet is the Lord, that when He calls us to do something in a certain way is for His Glory, for our good, and the good of others. Always. By His grace, we belong to His Kingdom, and we don’t need to be part of this victimized world. We can look to the Lord and seek to serve Him, we can “count others more significant than [ourselves].” (Philippians 2:3), and believe the best of them.

Brothers and sisters, even when we are hated, and we are being persecuted, God calls us to “not grow weary in doing good.” (2 Thess 3:13). We are not to grow weary of doing good even when we feel wronged, or we are dealing with our very enemies (Luke 6:27-28). Even as we battle with our unfounded assumptions of others, and the tendency of our society to victimize themselves and seek vengeance in one way or another, we as Christians are not to grow weary of doing good. 

To learn what love and service are we ought to see Christ, not the culture, and note how He served us and gave His life for us though we were His enemies and didn’t deserve it. He didn’t grow weary of doing good. His doing good didn’t depend on the circumstances or the objects of His love (us). In the same way, we ought to serve others believing the best of them, and persistently hoping for the best, not letting hasty or presumptuous assumptions hinder us from loving. In all that we do, we ought to imitate He who is ever merciful, and ever-loving (Eph 5:1-2).

---

Related articles:

• Precept Austin. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Commentary.