By Andrea Guachalla
Sometimes I have to force myself to find things that are going wrong with life in order to justify my complaints about and towards God. Like the psalmist, I say again and again:
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?”
Psalm 13:1a, English Standard Version
“Why are you punishing me?”, I would add. As Genavieve (a Christian musician) sings, I would question God and say “Why would you make me use my tears?” when it seems like life makes no sense and I can see no hope.
Rightly is depression described by some as having a thin veil in front of your eyes that convinces you that life is actually as ugly and senseless as you think it is. Nothing is right, nothing is worth living for, there is absolutely no hope.
And we, as Christians, can see life that way too.
Evil seems so widespread we see no way we could make an impact in the world, death and illnesses seem like such a constant threat that we see no value in putting effort on working hard while we can or in loving people who will die anyway. Wars take the lives of hundreds of people, governments take advantage of the people they are supposed to serve, men, women, girls and boys are sold and enslaved in many countries, Christians are martyred, unborn babies are killed in their mother’s wombs every day, boys and girls are abused by the parents who are supposed to protect them, and the list can go on, and on, and on…
Even just writing this makes me feel like life is truly senseless when all we see around us is darkness, sin, and humans being cruel to one another.
However, the world is not all about killings, abuse, and injustice, though we know that human beings are inherently sinful, and will remain sinful outside of Christ. By God’s grace the world is also about beauty, mercy, and love even if we refuse to acknowledge that.
The thin veil covering our eyes: sin, does not allow us to see God’s grace and sovereignty in every single circumstance. For the Christian, sin may convince us that life is as pointless as we think it is in our weakest moments, it might convince us that there is nothing worth living for because nothing will ever change. And that’s why we must run to Christ and see the cross where he laid his life down for us. Because only seeing Christ’s sacrifice and God’s plan for salvation will enable us to see all the other underserved blessings we enjoy.
Yes.
Even in the midst of trials and suffering.
Yes, in your darkest moments you might ask “God, will you forget me forever?” But it shouldn’t take you long to realize that he has never forgotten you. Just looking around should teach you how God, despite your weaknesses and unfaithfulness, still provides for you and offers you true peace and joy in Christ, your savior.
How wrong do we do when, not understanding the suffering God brings upon us, we decide to depart from Him. How wrong is our reasoning when we think we’ll do better by not praying and not reading our Bibles as if our existence could be better outside of God. How far from the truth we are when we think we will find comfort in anything except in Christ and we refuse to come to God in prayer even if it’s just to express our sorrow, concerns, and anxiety.
Can’t we see, even in our most difficult times, that he is blessing us by the sole fact he gave as his Word so we can know him? Can’t we see He is blessing us beyond what we can fathom by giving us salvation in Christ and comfort through the Holy Spirit? Can’t we see we don’t deserve to have a supportive family (or even an unsupportive one), or a job to pay for things, or unbeliever friends to evangelize, or a roof above our heads, or clothes to keep us warm, or a good health? We deserve none of these things, and yet he gives us some or even all of them. We don’t deserve to be alive, and yet we are.
Can’t we see God’s sovereign protection every time we return home safely? Aren’t we witnesses of the kindness and goodness of people (even coming from unbelievers) who are willing to protect others when they see injustice? Furthermore, can’t we see the undeniable blessing in that we may suffer knowing our trials always go according to his will? We don’t deserve that either. That’s a privilege unbelievers do not have. They go through trials, and they rightly despair. They often find no purpose in their suffering, and there is no God who can comfort them (because they reject him). But we do have a God who comforts us, and who treats us as a loving Father.
I no longer wish to force myself to find things that are going wrong with life in order to justify my complaints about and towards God. Its dishonest. I can see how Christ makes life worth living for, even if we face greater and greater hardships each passing year. I can be thankful for all the things God has given me though I don’t deserve any of them, starting with the fact that he can use me to fulfill his purposes even in my weakest, darkest times, and not only that, but he can also point me to Jesus in whom I can find eternal peace and comfort.
If you do believe the Lord has abandoned you in your trials, or has forgotten you forever, let me tell you he hasn’t and he will never do. Willingly drifting away from God will not bring any good, you must know that. You must get closer to Christ through spending time in His Word, praying, sitting under the faithful teaching of Scriptures, and sharing life with both your blood family and your family in Christ. Yes, even if that means forcing yourself to do all of that.
By the end of it, no matter how harsh or good the circumstances you are in are, you will be able to say this as once the psalmist did:
“But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
Psalm 13:5-6, English Standard Version
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me”
David starts his prayer being sure that God has abandoned Him, and ends up realizing God has dealt bountifully with him. May you also come to realize that. Though you still sin against Him, and doubt about his grace, he has dealt bountifully with you, and has blessed you beyond what you deserve. May you rejoice in the salvation only He can give, and may that lead you to trust Him and obey.
