By Andrea Guachalla
Hi, my name is Andrea and I am a complainer.
I don’t need friends to tell me, I know. I tend to complain a lot. If you were to ask me to write down a list of things that didn’t go well this year for which I can complain, believe me, the list would be endless. Reading the news a lot certainly doesn’t help make the list shorter.
HOWEVER, at least becoming aware of my tendency to complain led me to acknowledge my grumpy heart needs to be transformed. Urgently.
As I look back on how this year went for me I can honestly say many things went wrong, many of my plans were shattered to pieces, I spent sleepless nights just being disappointed, there were times I felt misunderstood, lonely, and ignored. My grumpy heart had extra stuff to complain about.
However, as I look forward to what’s left of this year I wonder if pondering on any of those things is gonna help in any way. And I know they are not… Furthermore, pondering on the things I think went wrong does not bring glory to God, especially because He explicitly teaches in His word that we must think about whatever is true, whatever is pure, and whatever is commendable (Phil 4:8), not in whatever went wrong based on my perception. Oh! How many valuable hours have I spent either complaining about the past or worrying about the future? More hours than I’m willing to acknowledge, that’s for sure.
In my grumpiness, though, I’ve had times when I had to force myself to be disappointed about life just to keep being the complainer I’ve grown used to being. That sounds weird, I know. But let me explain so hopefully my grumpy friends will relate:
Deep down I know that the blessings have overshadowed my trials by far this year. Nearly every time I’ve encountered an obstacle, or a trial, or suffering there has been someone there to hear me out or offer advice, or someone to patiently support me. Even when anyone made things worse by trying to help me, I can still say there was someone who at least TRIED to help. On top of all, I had God himself encouraging me and showing me His truth through His written word and His word being preached. So I have no other choice but to admit that as hard as this year has been there was never a time when God didn’t provide with what I needed both spiritually, and physically. And yet… My grumpy, stubborn heart needed to find a way to keep complaining about life. So I would force myself to focus on the bad side of things on purpose to keep my habit going.
I know, I am a sinner who is being sanctified by the grace of God.
The truth is that there is really nothing I can complain about and I have everything to be grateful for. I did nothing to deserve what I have, a supportive family, a job that I enjoy, or caring friends who are willing to listen to me patiently and pray for me. Even in my brokenness, I had God’s Word to encourage me, and His church to walk alongside me, I was never left alone even if it felt that way. Not a single second.
Why is it so hard to be grateful and so easy to be grumpy when all we see around is a blessing from God then? Yes, even the trials we have to endure are a blessing, even the suffering, even loss, and shattered plans. I’ve come to the conclusion that It’s easier to be grumpy because that’s our default state. We think we know better than God, but we don’t. We think what we want is what we need and fall into the comparison game which leads us to measure God’s goodness according to the things other people have that we lack. We refuse to believe God is all-knowing, so only He knows what we truly need, we forget He is good and gracious. We think we can be in control of our lives when only God is.
Have we forgotten there is this thing called “humility”? I sometimes do.
As we enter the Christmas season and the end of this year, let us be grateful for the things we have and for the things we don’t, let us be grateful for the answered prayers and the unanswered ones too, let us be grateful for the fulfilled longings and even more for the unfulfilled ones (aren’t those the ones that draw us even closer to God), let us rejoice on the plans that went well, and the plans that did not because EVERYTHING serves a purpose, and we are undeservedly privileged enough to know God’s hand is behind all of it and that all works for the best of those who love Him (Rom 8:28). All that he does aims to bring us closer to Him and shape us more like Christ, especially suffering, and trials and unfulfilled longings, and unanswered prayers, and for that, we can be eternally grateful
I haven’t figured out how to be grateful all the time, or how to trust God amid suffering, or how to be joyful when all I want is an easy escape from life’s struggles, I will confess that. However, I can also say that I know God is graceful enough to shape my heart and yours and bring Himself glory through our lives even in our weakness if we are humble enough to ask Him that in prayer. And He may answer a prayer like that not because you and I are good, but because HE is good. Let us dwell on this and let God transform our grumpy hearts into hearts that are deeply grateful.
