By Andrea Guachalla
Don’t worry, this is not an article about nutrition, or physical wellness, or ‘loving ourselves’ though I do believe being in good health can help us be of better service to others. The message I want to give you today is how serving relates to a concept known as “positive health” in the realm of public health and why I think it’s important to consider it.
Overall the concept “positive health” argues that we should think of health not only as the mere absence of disease but we should go beyond that simplistic view and actively pursue being well physically and mentally. According to this concept one should not be indifferent to one’s health, or be neutral about it, and also one should not be content with simply not being sick. One should instead focus on eating well, doing exercise and going to the doctor to enhance one’s current health to feel better and better as time goes on.
That is positive health.
Likewise when we talk about service as in serving others, one should remember that we must not be indifferent towards people around us, nor be neutral about them (i.e. having a shallow relationship with them), and also one should not be content with simply not being in conflict with others. One should instead focus on getting to know others better, see their needs, and actively seek to serve them in any way that is possible so the relationship grows more and more as time goes on. Here we must remind ourselves that serving is ultimately for the glory of God and the good of others, not for our own good or for our pleasure.
I believe it’s correct to say all of that is TRUE service. However, “positive service” (using the analogy of positive health) goes beyond that.
We should not only do all that I stated in order to serve, but we must also actively seek ways to show our affection to others by paying attention to details about their lives, things they like and dislike, and use any opportunity we have to not only care for them but love them. We are talking about doing this not for our significant other, or our spouse only, but for our siblings, parents, uncles, cousins, children, friends, and for our brothers and sisters in Christ who are not connected to us by blood but they are by grace.
To that I call “positive service,” though you might as well call it “godly service” or “godly loving” because the Bible itself directs us to serve and love that way (see key passages below).
I don’t know about your circumstances and background especifically, and the way you practice serving others, but I personally tend to get this whole serving-others-thing wrong. For much of my Christian life I’ve tended to think the best way to serve others is either to have a shallow relationship so they don’t have to bear my burdens or to make myself available to respond to their practical needs, but rarely to their emotional or spiritual needs, or to refrain from having discussions about things I disagree on with someone else to avoid conflict.
Now, I’m not saying I was doing this based on my sinful reasoning deliberately. I sincerely thought the best way to serve was to not share my struggles or to not have discussions about things I have a strong opinion on to avoid distressing close friends or family members. My way of serving others was often reduced to avoiding conflict, profound conversations, being there for others only when their circumstances required my presence, or even just disengaging from relationships (I thought that was the easiest way to not be a “burden”). The definition of service to me was the mere absence of conflict in any shape and form. I forgot the part where God calls us to LOVE others, not simply avoid them so as to not be a “burden” to them.
The thing is, if everyone in church and within our families used this type of reasoning to lead their service we would have: 1. people who don’t talk to each other, therefore, 2. people who do not, will not and care not for carrying each others’ burdens, and 3. people who only react to others’ tough circumstances but who are never there to live life with others.
That is not real service, and that is certainly not true love.
So if you are someone who sees service in a similar way as I do let me warn you out of experience that you will not get too far like that. You need others, and others need you. You need to be vulnerable with others, so others can be vulnerable with you. You need to have profound conversations about things that can be painful or uncomfortable in order to grow, and others need that too. You must share your burdens for others to carry them with you, and you must carry others’ burdens too. You need to get to know others more profoundly so you can love them better, and you need to let others know you so they can love you too.
Don’t conform with the mere absence of conflict. Learn to serve others the way God calls you too, and the way Christ did. Learn to see the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of others and meet them prayerfully, go further than that and get to know others’ character, and background, get to know their likes and dislikes, the things they are interested in and engage in conversations about the things they love and are passionate about, don’t wait to their birthdays to gift them something you know they will like, be creative in the way you show your appreciation of them!
Now, I don’t mean to say these things are easy to do or that they will feel natural from the get go. I personally struggle a lot with knowing how to serve and love others because of the sinful reasoning I had behind service for so many years. Bad habits are hard to break. But what I encourage you to do if you struggle in this way is: pray for opportunities to serve others and PRACTICE to be a better servant, use any opportunity you get to know others more profoundly, respond to their needs, pray for them, care for them and love them as God has called you too. When you ask God to help you grow in His Word and apply it to relationships He is graciously willing to give you opportunities, wisdom and the right motivation to do so.
Key Passages:
– Acts 20:35
– 1 Peter 4:10-11
– Galatians 5:13-14
– Matthew 20:28
– John 13:12-14
– Mark 10:44-45
– Philippians 2:1-11
