In college, I worked for a short time as a cashier at a local grocery store. One of the greatest lessons I learned then—and one that sticks with me to this day—was when a customer would pay with a $20 bill or higher. We were trained to hold it to the light to see if it was authentic or counterfeit. In the few instances where I was handed fake money, my response was to reject it. If the dollar bills passed the test of authenticity, I would accept the payment. That simple act of holding something to the light to see if it is genuine offers a helpful picture of what it means to be a true man.
What Culture Says
Culture believes it has a handle on what true manhood looks like. Earlier this year, MSNBC ran the headline, “Pedro Pascal is the model of masculinity America needs.” Columnist Noor Noman held up Pascal as a picture of true masculinity because of his ethic of care, his rejection of macho stereotypes, and his embrace of emotional vulnerability. These traits may seem admirable on the surface, but when held to the light of Scripture, they fall short of what authentic manhood truly is.
Ethic of Care
The most celebrated feature of Pascal’s masculinity seems to be his ethic of care. The media has applauded his protection of the marginalized and hurting, often praising his kindness toward others. Yet, while his heart may be to help, the truth reveals that there is no true ethic in his care. He advocates for inclusivity that has no biblical foundation and knows no bounds. His support of the LGBTQ+ lifestyle highlights that his morals and ethic have no grounding in truth. Care that lacks truth ultimately does more harm than good.
Rejection of Macho Stereotypes
Pascal would likely argue that macho stereotypes have done more harm than good—contributing to sexism, abuse, and homophobia. Coming from a Hispanic culture often described as patriarchal, he would see traditional male leadership as toxic. The problem, however, is not that he has rejected macho stereotypes, but that he has failed to embrace the manhood described in Scripture. The mark of a man is not measured by rejecting cultural tradition but by believing and living according to theological truth.
Embrace of Emotional Vulnerability
Pascal has also become known for his emotional vulnerability, though this seems rooted more in feminism than faith. In a recent interview, Vanessa Kirby was seen holding his hand to calm him when he was anxious. Similarly, co-star Bella Ramsey has been observed comforting him during high-stress moments. The issue with his vulnerability is not merely that he looks to the comfort of his female co-stars rather than the Christian faith. The problem is he normalizes and justifies what is foolish and sinful. His supposed anxiety is one example of how he seeks to normalize that man can be emotionally weaker than women and that nothing is wrong on seeking comfort in women who are unrelated. He uses his so-called anxiety to justify his interactions with younger women who are married, often seeking physical touch from them in a way that is inappropriate and a manner that could be borderline adulterous. Pascal’s portrayal as a simple, soft man is not an example to emulate but a reputation to reject.
Why This Matters
This portrait of masculinity that culture promotes through Pedro Pascal represents what many single brothers in Christ are being tempted to follow. It can seem easier to gain approval by showing an undefined “care,” rejecting all tradition, and being openly vulnerable than to study the Scriptures and pursue biblical manhood. But culture’s version of masculinity, however appealing, is counterfeit. The real test of authenticity is not what the world applauds but what Christ affirms.
What Christ Shows
Jesus Christ is the clearest picture of authentic manhood. While Jesus confronted harmful traditions, He did not discard God-given authority or design. Rather than using His authority for self-promotion, He willingly embraced discomfort to bring life to others. Dear single brother, if you want to know what it means to be a true man, look to Jesus—the One who loved through sacrifice and led through service.
A True Man Loves in Sacrifice
Ephesians 5 commands men of God, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Jesus’s love was not an “inclusive” love in the sense of affirming all lifestyles, but an inviting love—offering grace through His sacrificial death to those who turn from sin. If you desire to be a true man, you will not look for what is easiest or most convenient. Because of Christ’s love for the church, you will display His love sacrificially. True masculinity does not take but gives. It does not self-protect but sacrifices—and this is often seen in how we serve.
A True Man Leads through Service
Jesus defined leadership when He told His disciples, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). He did not only speak this truth; He embodied it. On the night He was betrayed, the Lord of life wrapped a towel around His waist and washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:1–17). He used His authority not to be served, but to serve. Jesus shows us that true leadership requires laying down our pride to lift others up. That is what it means to lead through service.
A True Man Learns from the Church
The picture of Christ and the church in Ephesians 5:22-33 is not only a reminder a true man loves and leads but that he learns as well. God gives man a woman as a helper. When the husband is struggling and needs to find strength and encouragement, his wife, as well as godly men in his local church, can encourage him and point him to the Lord. He must not go looking for emotional comfort in other women. If unmarried, a man should share his challenges with his family, pastor, and mature men from his local body. Christ loves the church and has given us Christian community to learn from one another and grow together. Dear single brother, do not look to forbidden emotional relationships with women but forge faithful friendships with the brothers in Christ in your church.
Conclusion
Just as I held up each $20 bill to the light to see if it was real or counterfeit, so we must hold cultural pictures of manhood to the light of Scripture. When the world shines its spotlight on figures like Pedro Pascal and calls them models of masculinity, we must test their character against the true standard, the Incarnate Word—Jesus Christ. The world’s version may look convincing at first glance, but only Christ’s example proves authentic. Brothers, don’t settle for a counterfeit masculinity. Hold it to the light and follow the One who truly defines what it means to be a man.
