By Andrea Guachalla
Flowers, teddy bears, countless couples holding hands crowding the streets with smiling faces (maybe some fake ones?): that’s what September 21st looks like in Bolivia (that’s when the equivalent to Valentine’s Day is celebrated). No room for gloomy faces, no room for those who have not found their “soulmate” yet, no room for… Well…
Me.
September 21st, 2017.
That year I was single like a Pringle and I started my day pretending I had forgotten it was Valentine’s Day. So I went on with my life and went for groceries that day right after 8 hours of working in the lab. Huge mistake, I should have hidden in my cave until the 23rd.
I – walking by myself, carrying heavy bags from the supermarket – didn’t fit in with the picture of general romantic celebration that was taking place. In fact, I’ll be honest and say that dragging my bags while trying not to collide with all the couples that were coming my way not only made me feel awkward and out of place, but also made me feel some sort of shame that had remained unknown until then.
Needless to say, I didn’t get any flowers that day, nor a teddy bear. But most importantly, I didn’t have a guy to carry my bags, which made me feel a bit, you know… miserable. Though that experience should have been easy to ignore and forget, it actually came with a lot of pondering and a new identifier on my ID: Single.
Even though I was able to recognize that the fuzzy celebration responded in many cases not to “love” as defined in the Bible (1 Cor. 13) but to “love” as defined by the world (a mere feeling), I still felt my discontentment growing along with the desire of having what others had. My discontentment grew exponentially with the longing for a relationship that I wrongly assumed would make me complete, the idolizing of something that could never fulfill me, thus grounding my identity, joy, and purpose in one simple thing: my marital/relationship status.
We can agree at this point that all we accomplish with this overthinking and idolizing is to keep our focus away from Christ.
If you’re a Pringle like me, and you have to go through Valentine’s Day yet again by yourself, let me tell you a few things that I learned: if you are saddened by your singleness when these celebrations come closer, it could be because you’re idolizing (1 Cor. 10:7) a relationship – whether existing or non-existent – that cannot and will not fulfill you: only Christ can fulfill your needs and longings (Phil. 4:19). If you don’t feel content in your singleness, seek God’s wisdom, and bring that burden to Him.
When you struggle with unfulfilled desires, you ought to come closer to our Savior knowing that He has purposefully given you these single years for you to use them for His Glory. You can be sure that if you believe in Christ as your Lord and Savior you are made complete in Him no matter your relationship status. Ultimately, your identity, worth, and joy are defined by Him who never changes (Heb. 13:8), by Him whose love reveals your true worth regardless of whether there is (or isn’t) someone to carry your bags home from the supermarket, by Him whose wisdom and love are infinite.
Related articles:
- Phylicia Masonheimer. 2020. God, What Do I Do With These Desires? Personal Blog.
- Bethany Beal. 2020. Single and Ready to Mingle – Part 1. Girl Defined Ministry.
- Bethany Beal. 2020. Single and Ready to Mingle – Part 2. Girl Defined Ministry.
Cool blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? Charity Jared Theodora
Hi there! It is a free theme available on WordPress! Thank you. 🙂