By Andrea Guachalla
Imagine for a second that you are a king (or a queen) of a mighty kingdom and instead of servants eager to serve you, all you have is daydreamers pretending they are serving you.
Daydreamers. Vaguely trying to focus on the tasks they are given while they dream about the remote past, the indecipherable future, or alternate dimensions of the present, and are rarely paying attention to what they are doing at the moment. Half present, half-traveling in time.
Half-serving you, half-serving themselves.
How would a kingdom served by daydreamers look like then? Probably half done, half messed up. An utter Disaster in the long run.
“Why?” you said?
I’m glad you asked: because we don’t care that much about the present, only about what once happened, or things we want to happen, or what is currently happening in the infinite dimensions displaying in the back of our minds… Travelling in time.
Yes, you read that right, we travel in time.
Is that good? Is that bad? As a professional daydreamer, I will say it’s mainly bad.
You are wondering why?
The short answer is: because we half-live, and half-dream, which also means that we half-serve others and half-serve ourselves on a daily basis. And all that in the long-run has disastrous consequences on the habits we form and our behavior towards other people who have to cope with our absent mind.
Now, though everyone who struggles with this might have different reasons to wander in thought, I believe many would relate to the reasons I have for doing so, and that is namely discontentment to some degree. That’s why my daydreaming is about traveling… In time or in space. And I do so probably more than I should, always trying to land somewhere new, subconsciously looking for something that I will not find (in this earth or my imagination anyway): a home. But wherever I am it never seems to accomplish my requirements of a good home, though if asked I wouldn’t be able to describe what a good home is. The search for a “good” home extends to a longing for the “perfect” job, and “fulfilling” relationships/friendships, though again, I wouldn’t be able to define those either.
In the end: no home, no workplace and no relationship are ever gonna meet my crazy (and undefined) standards of perfection. Thus… I travel. From one dimension to the other, to the past, to the future.
What does it all mean, though? Longing for something, and daydreaming about it doesn’t seem that bad, does it?
But it is.
I invest my time selfishly looking to meet my own interests, longings and needs, while seldomly thinking about those of others. I am constantly focused on finding a home (whatever that means in my human wisdom), but never truly settling somewhere, constantly looking out for the next job, never entirely content with the one I already have, constantly disengaging from relationships that don’t benefit me, rarely fighting for family, friends, and neighbors out of sacrificial love. Daydreaming… a coward way of escaping from all that seems to not be convenient.
Now. Here is an issue that some daydreamers might not know they have, and one that I discovered as mine very recently.
As a daydreamer, my tendency is to assume that nobody cares about how absent-minded I am, it doesn’t impact them and most likely nobody even notices it. It’s a little secret I keep to myself. Except that… That’s not true. Everyone knows that I tend to be absent-minded (at least the people I interact with most). The people I supposedly love care. They do notice that my “passing temporarily” through places and situations has an impact on the way I treat/serve my family and friends, on the way I interact with my colleagues at work, and on the way I treat my neighbors as well.
In a daydreamer’s life, everyone and everything is a temporary necessity or a happy coincidence. And yet, I (and maybe you too) keep trying to convince myself that none of that affects anyone. I refuse to accept that I’ve been told. Several times. By friends, siblings, colleagues, and friends. Even by people who don’t know me very well.
And what have I done with their complaints? Well, complain…
The reason for my complaint? In my human, blind, sinful eyes, everyone treats me as if I were a temporary friend, employee, family member, etc. Meaning that I am blaming others for wronging me exactly for the way I wrong them.
Am I a monster? Kind of. A monster with a gracious Father.
I blindly complain about everyone treating me as a temporary necessity or a happy coincidence, while constantly looking for my next home, my next job, starting the next project, and never being truly present… Always busy with “what’s coming next” and busying myself with tasks that will take me there… Only to get there and do exactly the same all over again. Always busy, always redeeming the time, prioritizing what I believe it’s most important, therefore neglecting what God has given me NOW.
I look back and I see a daydreamer jumping from one place to the other, never settling down, seldomly taking the effort to cultivate relationships, or just be thankful for what’s in front of me. Why would I? Everything and everyone is temporary, right?
WRONG.
Now, the question is: how can I serve others with my eyes set on eternity if all I do is focus on time restraints, and how others prevent me from accomplishing my “real” goals? How can I serve and love sincerely if all I want is to rush through the seasons of life God has given me, and start the next chapter of MY life? How can I say I love anyone if all I show them is that my spending time with them does not come from genuine love, but from an arrogant, self-righteous heart?
Tough questions to ask.
But let me ask you, can you relate to any of this? If you can, I’m telling you: We need to re-evaluate all this excessive daydreaming. Seriously and biblically. Now, while I don’t think I’m qualified to offer any tips to overcome it, or deal with it because I discovered the sinful roots of my daydreaming recently, I do believe that the coming section will leave you with some helpful questions, and some hope.
Let’s start with:
How can we live and fight for other people and enjoy life if we are absent-minded? Do we realize that just being/existing there next to our loved ones is part of loving them? How can we use our God-given time to fulfill the God-given commands of loving Him and loving others without having the focus on us and our desires? You will note that your answers to these questions often are: “I can’t, I don’t, and I can’t again.”
In our own strength and wisdom we tend to do wrong, which brings me to the next questions.
If not by the Holy Father who calls us to be holy as He is holy, how could we see our tendency to rely on our wisdom before relying on His? If not by the sacrificial, perfect love that we see in Christ our Lord, how could we realize that we know not how to love? If not by His Word, the Holy Spirit, His Church, the people He puts around us, and the trials and suffering He so graciously gives us, what would we know?
Nothing. We are so deceitful with ourselves. Always thinking the best of ourselves and the worst of others… Always victims, never wrong-doers.
How painfully sweet it is to discover that I can be a monster, and have a completely flawed understanding of how to love others no matter how many books I read, and still God, in His holy grace, would pull me closer, and as a loving father who reads stories to his kids before bed, He would sit by my side and help me understand His Word, His unchanging Truth, call me to repentance, and show me the everlasting love that we encounter in Jesus Christ. How gracious of a Father, He who would still allow me, a stubborn daydreamer, to serve Him, and serve others while encouraging me to seek holiness.
May He teach us to serve Him, the eternal King, and His glorious Kingdom, wholeheartedly, and whole-mindedly, starting TODAY by serving and loving the family, job and relationships He has given us.
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