By Andrea Guachalla
How can we start loving one another if not by first seeing and getting to know one another?
I came up with the title of this article many months ago as I was chatting with a friend. Since then I have probably sat down and tried to write something about it more than one time, only to have nothing coming out of my (digital) pen. I had grasped the meaning of something that seemed important, but I was unsure about what was there to understand.
A push towards understanding not necessarily the theory of it, but its application came through the glorious and fervent life of the church. My church. Or better stated, the church God gave me.
Let’s start at the beginning of that realization: seeing is followed by knowing, and knowing is followed by loving.
Seeing a person – whether it is for the first time or someone you see repeatedly in a specific setting – makes you aware of their existence barely on the surface. You might by “seeing” a person notice some of their physical or character traits, but you don’t KNOW them yet, so you cannot, for good or bad, emit any valid judgment.
When you get to “know” them you go past the shallowness of the first impression, and you get to learn their story, their background, the things they have accomplished in life so far. As time passes and conversations spring up you become aware of more than just their past. You learn of their beliefs, the way they see things, their struggles, and their fears. You learn of the things that bring them joy, and the things that take their joy away. It is then that you can love them. You can, after seeing them, and getting to know them, love them at last. You can be of service to them when you are aware of their needs.
Now, all of this sounds nice in theory. It sounds like a logical progression towards loving one another. However, the same way one is not regenerated by pure knowledge and good arguments of the Christian faith, but rather through the Holy Spirit, knowledge is likewise not sufficient to love God or others. Loving requires the work of God in our souls and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It requires getting to know the ultimate source of perfect love, Christ, through God’s Word.
These past months, I struggled in my attempt to understand how this progression leads to practical, biblical love, not only because it carries some complexity in itself, but because I knew that understanding it more fully meant that I would have to apply it sooner or later, and I didn’t know if I was ready for that.
Was I willingly delaying writing about this? Probably. But God has interesting ways to teach you things even when you don’t want to learn. This passage came up in one of my devotionals weeks ago:
“It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more,
Philippians 1:9–10, English Standard Version
with knowledge and all discernment,
so that you may approve what is excellent,
and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.”
There he is, apostle Paul calling the Philippians to abound in love with KNOWLEDGE and DISCERNMENT. The passage does not refer to knowing others (seeing others) in a merely shallow way, but it calls believers to abound in love by knowing one another with discernment. One of the comments I read about the passage says that discernment in this context stands for knowing how to serve one another. An exposition of this passage in Tabletalk from Ligonier Ministries says that abounding in love with knowledge and discernment implies that this love is relational. We are called to have a relationship with the object of our love. How else can we get to know their deepest needs, and desires, in order to serve them and pray for them?
Love is relational. In Voddie Baucham’s words, which I believe go well in this context:
“Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion
that leads to action on behalf of its object.”
An act of love will, surely, come from knowledge and discernment.
Here I must say: God is gracious. There is no way I could have understood this if it were not for the glorious and fervent life of the church. My church. The church God has given me… Because through it I realized this:
I am seen, I am known, I am loved
When I finally sat down to write this article I honestly (and maybe arrogantly) thought that I would be writing about my own growth, and about how I see, know, and love others. But the truth is that I couldn’t. There is nothing to write about how Andrea loves others because the more I learn of how sacrificial, patient, enduring, and gracious God’s love is, the more I realize that I know not how to love. And the more I realize that I know not how to love, the more I realize that I need God’s Word, and I need God’s Church, Christ’s Bride, Heaven on Earth, to teach me how to love.
I, in my human sinful wisdom, might tend to half-see, half-know, and half-love others, I might try to serve selflessly and end up serving self-righteously, but I know where I can go to learn about selfless service and true love. And it’s not only the Holy life of our glorious Savior Jesus Christ from which I learn how to love but through those who are redeemed by Him, His Church.
I might not know how to persevere through harsh relationships, and might tend to disengage from them when they entail more inconveniences than benefits, but I learn how selfless Christ love is when I see the members of my church (His church) persevering in loving one another relationally. I see God’s sacrificial love when I see them prioritizing others over themselves, and not caring about getting any benefit but rather seeking to serve before being served.
And that, besides Christ and Him crucified for our sins, and resurrected for God’s glory, is the biggest blessing. That is heaven on earth.
I might not know how to love, but I can see how God is teaching me through the way my brothers and sisters in Christ saw me. And not content with seeing me they invested their time in getting to know me. And not content with only knowing me they loved me.
Is there any greater encouragement?
If I could see, know and love others the way they love me, I’m sure I would be closer to see, know, and love others the way Christ does.
References:
- Tabletalk. Abounding Love. Ligonier Ministries.
